Dear Father,
Last night, I was forced to go through all the letters you'd sent to me over the past years. A long time ago, I had selected my favourite ones into a special box in my heart. I read with fondness, the ones you wrote in the rays of the Sun a just a few weeks ago. It brought tears to my eyes, that someone as awesome as you, my father, would use such a glorious and warm way to tell me that you love me. The one you whispered in the cool wind of last year made me sit to think and ponder your awesome greatness, but the best of all, was the one you spoke in the waves of the sea...
The endless stretch of the ocean is immeasurable. I couldn't even fully grasp why You would love me so much .I guess that just as I can never tell where the sea ends, I just may never know.But one thing bothered me. I know you try to tell me that you love me with the wonderful works of your creative hands... But I wondered why I never heard your voice. Then it struck me like a train hitting a deadly frozen, icy rock:
You have never stopped speaking, I just never heard you. How frustrated you must have been when you tried to wake me up to speak to you at five am yesterday morning? Or how disappointed you were when I rushed out of the house today, after reciting through Psalm 91, like I do one of my house chores. I always felt the gentle nudging of your Holy Spirit, but I am always so tired and busy, that I keep postponing the time I should spend with you. Yet, I realise that I have just about enough time to watch television or to surf the internet.My children, the four you lovingly gave me, have to go to school.
My husband works nights and I work days. My bills are overdue, I am even being threatened with court action if I don't pay up. Life's worries; so many of them have I used to side track you.But you didn't give up on me did you? You sent me dreams. Some were so disturbing that I would wake up drenched in my sweat. Scared I was under attack by my enemies, I was forced to run into you. A few prayer points later, and I felt better. Your protective hand was upon me and I was safe in your Name. But, with sadness so deeply entrenched in my soul, I realised that this is what I do all the time. I run to you only for protection. I don't care to know your likes or dislikes. I am not even sure of what your favourite colour is.
I am sure I cannot tell how you like your breakfast or what ticks you off? How can I claim to be your child when I don't even know you?But You know Me. You know and care about every single thing that happens to me. You numbered the hair on my head, and specially selected what should adorn my body.
You know my name... You picked my life.. .You selected my destiny and bestowed countless gifts upon me. You speak all the time, but I dont listen. Yet,You still want to know me so much that you speak to me even while I am asleep...even when you know I may never reply you. Oh! I dare to call you Father.So last night, I made a promise. I would speak to you like I should. In the intimacy that you so long for. I would try to return the gentle hugs you send into my spirit when I am down. I will sing for joy and dance to you every day. I will tell you more about my life... not only the parts I dont like much. I will write in my prayer request, that you draw me close, and for once, ignore the requests of wealth, comfort and peace that I repititiously bother you with. I would tell more people about You, give them a chance to know your special love and grace...With a heavy heart, I went back to my special box and read the letters you had written to me. And I want to say thank you.
Thank you for breathing life into me.
Thank you for loving me, despite my faults.
Thank you for sending your only Son, Jesus to die for me.
Thank you Jesus for not making excuses when Father asked you to come.
Thank you Father that You are You.
And for not saying happy fathers day to you last week, I am deeply sorry.
Happy fathers day Daddy, and I Love You.
From one of your many special children on earth.
p.s: I wrote this article a week after fathers day..the facts are fictitious ( I dont have 4 kids yet and I am rich in Jesus name!)
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Long Overdue letter
Posted by BiMbyLaDs** at 10:18 AM
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2 comments:
I find it difficult to say the words " i love you to daddy" not because i cant but because my conscience wont let me, during a period in my life i learnt the true meaning of the word love, 1cor13 and since then i stopped using it, but when i go to church and i hear people saying i love you baba and all, i hold back why because, i know God is a God of meaning and he does not take lightly what we say to him, each word we say carries weight and value, too many at times we are careless with our words, we make promises we cant keep, we make vows we break without conscience, we lie to God about who we are through our double life standards, we decieve the world and ourselves.
I hold back cause i dont want a curse upon my head am not ignorant of the mercies of God or how gracious he his or how his thoughts and ways are not mine but because i know everyday i dont live in the kind of love he wants i dare not say those words.1cor13:4 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8Love never fails.
This is the meaning of love how can i say these when i clearly do not live all of these, yes i do more than half of it but a few stand out as a battle for me, and i know God is not a God of " just obey law one and neglect the rest you will be fine", the love he says is not for him but for those around us, if you love your neighbour then you can say you love God if you love that, brother that has greatly offended you and broken your heart or even betrayed you then you love God the list is endless, thats how i see loving God, loving the people he has asked me to live with, friends, foes, relatives, siblings , parents, in laws, strangers, beggers, homeless ones, touts,etc, i should love them regardless of who and what they are!
so do you see why i cant say " father i love you" but i know one thing or sure having a relationship with him will surely help me get to where he wants me to be IN LOVE WITH HIM< and these can only reflect through the people around me! 1 cor13:1If I speak in the tongues[a] of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,[b] but have not love, I gain nothing.
1 cor13 :8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
this is the depth of the word. I admire that you love God and that you say it to him do you live it and mean it, like God he intended us to?
Dear anon,
thanks for your comments.. please read the letter again, you can see that it is from a heart that is simply trying to love her God the way he wants us to. U can see that the writer is asking God for another chance to be able to have time for him, and pray to him. Its not a letter to boldy declare that I am righteous. rather, the letter is a cry for mercy, and YES I DO LOVE GOD. I am a growing image of 1st corinthians 13. I can tell you that I may never completely cover all of 1st corintians, but by the grace of Jesus Christ, we have been made perfect in Christ. Rather than say I cannnot tell my father, that I love him, I will tell him that I Love him and shout to the world that I do. It dosnet mean I am perfect, it doesnt mean I am sinless. It doesnt mean I dont need a lot of bending and breaking to do, but it does mean that I love him and I long for him to help me be what he wants me to be.. in HIS IMAGE. After his likeness.
so anon, I love my God. I am full of sin and only Jesus can save me, but, I love my God enough to ask him to help me , and to declare to the world that I do!
thanks for sharing ur insights though.. its a food for thought.
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